What is codependency?

A lot of people, whose loved ones have become victims of addiction, turn to us for help. But most relatives do not think that their own behavior can cause the development of the disease and interfere with the rehabilitation process. Trying to help their loved one get rid of addiction, they themselves become addicted, seeking to completely control the life of a relative. This unhealthy family relationship is called codependency. Identifying this problem is the primary task of the psychologists of our center.

How does codependency manifest itself?

 The addiction of a loved one can shock even the strongest person. Fear of the future, despair and the desire to save a relative by any means can lead to rash and sometimes inappropriate actions.

Parents and spouses of drug addicts and alcoholics are especially prone to codependent behavior. By their actions, they try to force a person to abandon the stimulant, to realize that they are wrong, not realizing that they cannot influence his illness in any way.

Gradually, the methods of relatives are becoming more radical. Control over each step of the addict, suspicion – all this causes even more stress in the patient, which leads to the need for a stimulant. Codependency creates a “vicious circle” in which relatives reproach and mistrust the drug addict or alcoholic to break loose in order to blame him again later.

Codependency often leads to domestic violence. The tension between relatives grows to the limit and spills over into a serious conflict with the use of force. Of course, such relationships in the home can only aggravate the disease, but in no way heal it.

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Fight Codependency

 In our rehabilitation center we work not only with addicts. Our psychologists also conduct classes with patients’ relatives. Thanks to work in a group under the guidance of experienced professionals, relatives of alcoholics and drug addicts analyze their behavior and find mistakes that prevent them from establishing relationships in the family. Such activities help prevent the development of codependency and get rid of the obsession with total control.

Relatives of addicts learn to understand and accept their loved ones, let go of their grievances and channel their negative emotions into a peaceful channel. Thus, thanks to classes in the center, they manage to bring harmony and love into their lives, which has a positive effect on the well-being of the addict himself.

Signs of codependency

A codependent loved one may detect some or all of these symptoms.

Negation

  • I find it difficult to understand or describe how I feel.
  • I deliberately deny, belittle or alter my true feelings.
  • I consider myself an absolutely selfless person who has dedicated my life to others.

Low self-esteem

  • I find it difficult to make decisions, I constantly postpone “for later”.
  • I find that whatever I think, say or do is not good enough.
  • It is uncomfortable for me to hear words of appreciation for my merits, to accept praise or gifts.
  • I am not asking others to respect my needs or aspirations.
  • How other people relate to my thoughts, feelings and behavior is much more important to me than what I think about it.
  • I do not consider myself a decent, attractive person.

Compliance

  • I am quick to compromise my own decisions and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
  • I tend to guess the feelings and experiences of others and take the feelings of others to heart.
  • I continue to endure to the last and remain loyal even if the situation around me harms my mental and physical health.
  • Most of the time, I am afraid to voice my opinion and express my true feelings if they differ from the opinions of others.
  • I put the interests of others first, to the detriment of my own interests and hobbies.
  • Whenever I want expressions of love and acceptance, I agree to sex.

Control

  • I believe that most people are unable to take care of themselves and need my help.
  • I do my best to convey to other people how they should “think” and how they should “really” feel.
  • I am offended if others do not accept my help.
  • I give advice and guidance to others, although I am not asked to.
  • I am generous with gifts and courtesies to whoever I care about.
  • I use sex to get approval and acceptance.
  • I need to feel “needed” in order to have relationships with others.

MAA Co-Dependents Movie

 

Upload date: 2015-03-04T00: 00: 49

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Анна, 25
Friends, hello everyone! I want to say a big thank you to the
Igor, 25
Hello everyone. He began using drugs by injection at 15, alcohol and grass were even earlier. During the period of use, problems with the police, health and the loss of all relationships with people close to me became the norm. In the last 2-3 years, the meaning of life was lost, I was deeply depressed with suicidal thoughts. 4.5 years ago I applied to the
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I am from the Luhansk region, at the moment I have been in complete sobriety for 4 years. Before the rehabilitation center
Alexei, 30
My name is Aleksey. I am 30 years old and addicted. At the moment I am in stable remission thanks to the
Denis
Hello everybody. I have been in trouble since 93 and have been using everything. The last seven years have been a dense heroin system. Nothing helped, neither detoxification, nor grandmothers, nor sorcerers. At the next detoxification in narcology, he met with an employee of the rehabilitation center
Novel, 38
Before I turned to MAA for help, it seemed to me that my life had lost all meaning. I was on the verge of being overcome by feelings of despair. Thoughts about death. The drug has destroyed all areas of my life. Rehabilitation restored my confidence in myself. The team of the IAA, Dnipro region, in my opinion, performed a miracle. I completed the program and made the decision to learn and develop in the organization. The support of the MAA therapeutic community gives me the confidence and strength to move on and live soberly.
Victoria
I am 18 years old. I have been drinking alcohol for 3 years, which is why all these years I got into unpleasant situations, after which I miraculously remained alive. Because of my use, I lost control of myself, relations with my family deteriorated intolerable. At one point, my father brought me to rehabilitation, for which I am now grateful to him after completing a full course of rehabilitation. I had enough time to think it over and put everything in its place in my delusions and inability to control my use and further life. This organization taught me a lot. First, I learned to live in sobriety, cry and laugh with real feelings, say “I love” my parents, appreciate many little things that I had not previously paid attention to, reconsidered my views on the world. MAA is changing my life in stages.
Alexei
I have been using opium for about 8 years and have three convictions. I haven't worked anywhere for more than two months. Once in rehabilitation, he stopped using drugs, established relations with relatives and friends. He began to live a normal life - for which I am grateful to the association.
Catherine
I express my deep gratitude to the staff of the center for their desire to make our relatives healthy, to guide them along the difficult path to a sober life and to instill a desire to stay sober. Roman has been married for three years. When our child was born, I found out that my husband is a drug addict. He was on the verge and did not know how to continue to live, but he wanted to get rid of this bad habit. Roman's mom and I found an ad for MAA Dnipro on the Internet and called there. The next day he was already at the center, where he began to undergo a rehabilitation program in the city of Dnipro. 30 months have passed, my husband is sober. At the moment, he works in the same center where he underwent rehabilitation. Now my husband is helping other addicts to fight the “disease”. Now we rejoice in every day we have lived, I have no more anxiety for my husband, for the future of our family. I know that everything will be fine now. I don't want to go back to the past. Thanks to the center, my spouse climbed out of the bottom, where drugs had lowered him. I wish you health, success in your hard work, to which you devote your life. Thank you.
Olga
I want to say a huge thank you to the staff of MAA Dnipro, who support my son Roman in sobriety to this day. The son was addicted for 17 years, when our family learned about his

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