What is codependency?
A lot of people, whose loved ones have become victims of addiction, turn to us for help. But most relatives do not think that their own behavior can cause the development of the disease and interfere with the rehabilitation process. Trying to help their loved one get rid of addiction, they themselves become addicted, seeking to completely control the life of a relative. This unhealthy family relationship is called codependency. Identifying this problem is the primary task of the psychologists of our center.
How does codependency manifest itself?
The addiction of a loved one can shock even the strongest person. Fear of the future, despair and the desire to save a relative by any means can lead to rash and sometimes inappropriate actions.
Parents and spouses of drug addicts and alcoholics are especially prone to codependent behavior. By their actions, they try to force a person to abandon the stimulant, to realize that they are wrong, not realizing that they cannot influence his illness in any way.
Gradually, the methods of relatives are becoming more radical. Control over each step of the addict, suspicion – all this causes even more stress in the patient, which leads to the need for a stimulant. Codependency creates a “vicious circle” in which relatives reproach and mistrust the drug addict or alcoholic to break loose in order to blame him again later.
Codependency often leads to domestic violence. The tension between relatives grows to the limit and spills over into a serious conflict with the use of force. Of course, such relationships in the home can only aggravate the disease, but in no way heal it.
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In our rehabilitation center we work not only with addicts. Our psychologists also conduct classes with patients’ relatives. Thanks to work in a group under the guidance of experienced professionals, relatives of alcoholics and drug addicts analyze their behavior and find mistakes that prevent them from establishing relationships in the family. Such activities help prevent the development of codependency and get rid of the obsession with total control.
Relatives of addicts learn to understand and accept their loved ones, let go of their grievances and channel their negative emotions into a peaceful channel. Thus, thanks to classes in the center, they manage to bring harmony and love into their lives, which has a positive effect on the well-being of the addict himself.
Signs of codependency
A codependent loved one may detect some or all of these symptoms.
- I find it difficult to understand or describe how I feel.
- I deliberately deny, belittle or alter my true feelings.
- I consider myself an absolutely selfless person who has dedicated my life to others.
- I find it difficult to make decisions, I constantly postpone “for later”.
- I find that whatever I think, say or do is not good enough.
- It is uncomfortable for me to hear words of appreciation for my merits, to accept praise or gifts.
- I am not asking others to respect my needs or aspirations.
- How other people relate to my thoughts, feelings and behavior is much more important to me than what I think about it.
- I do not consider myself a decent, attractive person.
- I am quick to compromise my own decisions and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
- I tend to guess the feelings and experiences of others and take the feelings of others to heart.
- I continue to endure to the last and remain loyal even if the situation around me harms my mental and physical health.
- Most of the time, I am afraid to voice my opinion and express my true feelings if they differ from the opinions of others.
- I put the interests of others first, to the detriment of my own interests and hobbies.
- Whenever I want expressions of love and acceptance, I agree to sex.
- I believe that most people are unable to take care of themselves and need my help.
- I do my best to convey to other people how they should “think” and how they should “really” feel.
- I am offended if others do not accept my help.
- I give advice and guidance to others, although I am not asked to.
- I am generous with gifts and courtesies to whoever I care about.
- I use sex to get approval and acceptance.
- I need to feel “needed” in order to have relationships with others.
MAA Co-Dependents Movie
Upload date: 2015-03-04T00: 00: 49
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